“Malem Songo”, Tradisi Perkawinan Unik Khas Masyarakat Bojonegoro 39


Pernikahan
Malem Songo adalah tradisi masyarakat Bojonegoro dan sekitarnya untuk menikah pada malam ke-29 dalam bulan puasa. Selain masyarakat Bojonegoro, tradisi ini juga dilaksanakan oleh sebagian masyarakat daerah sekitarnya (Tuban, Lamongan, dll). Pada tahun 2016 ini malem songo jatuh pada hari Ahad malam Senin, 3 Juli 2016. Malam tersebut dianggap malam yang baik untuk melangsungkan pernikahan, sehingga dalam satu malam terdapat ratusan pasangan calon pengantin yang melaksanakan akad nikah.

Tahun ini, jumlah Pasangan Calon Pengantin mencapai angka 600 pasangan yang tersebar pada 27 KUA se-Bojonegoro. Jumlah pasangan calon pengantin terbanyak berada di KUA Kecamatan Kanor yang mencapai 78 pasangan. Dengan memiliki 5 penghulu, maka otomatis dalam satu malam masing-masing penghulu di kecamatan tersebut harus menikahkan 17 pasangan. Luar biasa padat dan melelahkan. Bahkan ada cerita seorang kawan yang melaksanakan pernikahan di Malem Songo, dimana ia baru didatangi penghulu pukul 23.30 malam, karena rumahnya paling jauh dari pusat kecamatan, serta penghulunya mendahulukan calon pengantin yang lain yang rumahnya lebih mudah dijangkau.

Masyarakat-pun sangat antusias untuk melestarikan tradisi ini. Padahal untuk melakukannya, masyarakat harus merogoh kocek lebih dalam, minimal untuk biaya perkawinan serta untuk pesta walimah. Berdasarkan Peraturan Penerintah (PP) no 48 tahun 2014, apabila pernikahan dilangsungkan di luar kantor (termasuk malem songo karena dilaksanakan di rumah dan di luar jam kantor) maka dikenai biaya Rp. 600.000,-. Belum termasuk pesta walimah, karena biasanya pesta walimah dilangsungkan pada bulan Syawal (setelah usai bulan puasa).

Ada banyak alasan mengapa tradisi ini mengakar kuat pada masyarakat. Pertama, karena malam tanggal 29 adalah malam ganjil terakhir pada bulan Ramadlan, sehingga diyakini sebagai malam istimewa, karena bertepatan dg malam Lailatul Qodar. Kedua, tradisi ini dianggap baik karena saat malam 29 Ramadlan, banyak keluarga pengantin yang sudah mudik (pulang kampung), khususnya yang dari jauh (luar pulau, luar negeri, dsb) sehingga menjadi momentum yg tepat untuk melangsungkan pernikahan dengan disaksikan seluruh keluarga. Ketiga, disegerakannya melangsungkan pernikahan pada akhir Ramadlan karena diyakini bahwa puasa dapat mencegah hawa nafsu sesuai hadits nabi “Yaa Ma’syaro al syabab, man istatho’a minkum al ba’ata …..”. Khawatir tidak dapat menahan nafsu selepas bulan puasa, maka lebih baik segera dinikahkan.

Tradisi pernikahan pada Malam Songo ini diistimewakan di atas tradisi yang lain. Artinya, pernikahan tetap dilangsungkan pada malam songo, meski setelah dilangsungkan perhitungan tanggal (ndongke), diketahui bahwa nogo dino pada hari tersebut tidak sesuai. Namun karena hari tersebut adalah Malam Songo maka pernikahan tetap dapat dilaksanakan.

Masyarakat setempat meyakini adanya ndongke atau tradisi menghitung hari berdasar hari dan pasaran kelahiran pasangan calon pengantin. Ini menjadi salah satu tradisi yang berlaku pada masyarakat jawa khususnya. Tradisi ini didasarkan pada keteraturan alam yang berlaku pada hari dan pasaran tetsebut, bukan dengan asal mencocokkan semata. Oleh karenanya, ilmu ini masuk kategori Ilmu Titen, bukan Ilmu Gathuk. Ini menjadi materi yang unik untuk diteliti pada lain pembahasan, baik dibaca dari aspek sejarah, hukum dan lain sebagainya.

÷÷==÷÷

Demikian sedikit catatan saya tentang salah satu model pernikahan yg ada di Bojonegoro, mohon maaf atas segala kesalahan.

Salam.


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39 thoughts on ““Malem Songo”, Tradisi Perkawinan Unik Khas Masyarakat Bojonegoro

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